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"Neil grunted. "Yeah."Paula giggled. "Well you weren't wanting to take any of me going for a wee, were you?"Neil sucked in air through his teeth. "Of course not. Just thought some photos of us would be a good memento of a lovely afternoon."Paula held out her hand and took him behind the tree to where there were two giant logs next to each other, eight or nine inches apart. "Perfect," she cried and sat down, lowering her pink knickers to her ankles. "Sit down then." Neil hesitated. "What?" Well guys don't sit down." You can do," Paula told him and patted the wood. "You wanted to go together!" A stream of urine hit the ground underneath as Paula released her bladder and she heard Neil do the same once he got seated. He leant over to her and smiled, before kissing her on the lips.Paula struggled at first, but Neil guided his hands to her waist as she continued her stream and Neil pulled away, smiling at her. "What was that?" I just ... I just needed to," Neil told her. "You are so. ‘Hi,’ I said, warily. ‘Goodbye, asshole,’ she seethed, and closed the door. Well, that was different. I knocked again. Twice, three times. The door finally opened. She was clearly crying and angry. ‘What do you want? I want you to go!’ she spat. ‘Connie,’ I stammered, ‘what did I do?’ ‘You told Phil you fucked me Thursday night, that’s what. Lying sack of shit!’ ‘I did no such thing!’ I protested. ‘Connie, listen, you know me…’ ‘I thought I did,’ she hissed. ‘I don’t know why I don’t just go lesbian. So much easier than dealing with men.’ She closed the door and refused to answer. I immediately drove to Phil’s house. I was ready to kill the motherfucker. I banged on his door loudly, ready to go at it. His wife Barb answered the door. ‘Hi, Jeff,’ she said, smiling until she saw the anger etched on my face. ‘Can I see Phil? Sorry, Barb, but this is big time and bad news,’ I said through clenched teeth. ‘Uh, yeah, Jeff, come in, sit down.’ She ushered me in and left to get Phil. It was.
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